Well, it's been a long two weeks...

So I'm tired. I'm *really* tired.

I have a new job where I'm finally out of training. I'm trying to get a promotion in said job at the same time, so that I have enough money to deal with life better.

I have the NGADM going on.

I have the NGMT which is going to start by the end of the month.

I moved out of my apartment and into my boyfriend's, and we're making plans and preparing to move into a one-bedroom apartment together.

And finally... about a week and a half ago, I was forced to acknowledge that my intuition has been correct for the last like, 9 months. So... I'm a girl. And now I get the lovely task of telling my parents, telling my friends, dealing with my partner being somewhat upset because he's a ftm trans guy and wanted to be with someone who wasn't trans, getting new clothes, telling my co-workers, filing paperwork about anxiety likely caused by it at work, seeing my counselor, getting ready to permanently remove the FUCKING BEARD that's been annoying me for a long time (though I looked good with it), get ready to legally change my name to Skye, and convince my counselor that yes I am ready to start hormones by officially 'living as female' without physically being such for up to 6 months or so.

Oh. And my pizza rolls are cold. ...damnit. I want to do nothing but sleep for a few days.

EDIT: Gonna be keeping a kind of public journal of how things go overall. Maybe I should start a blog or something. I dunno. Either way I'll just start writing stuff in some public space for now, will link when I can.

Comments

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johnfn 2015-08-24 23:55:33

OMG, THIS IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. I CANT BELIEVE

sorry, my keyboard got a little screwed up there. I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE DOING THE NGMT AGAIN AND DIDNT EVEN TELL ME. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING

SkyeWint 2015-08-24 23:55:33

too much. Too much.

johnfn 2015-08-24 23:57:17

but yeah i totally support you. but you already know that :)

SkyeWint 2015-08-24 23:57:17

Yeah. ^_^ It's been really helpful, man. Thank you. Seriously.

gadogry 2015-08-25 10:35:01

Dear Skye,

While these are certainly tough and hectic times for you, a part of me actually feel kind of elated and excited for you while reading this. The journey to understanding and acknowledging oneself can be so long and complicated, but IMO in the end it's all worth it regardless of the outcome. How can you enjoy life without accepting who you are?

And I hope that you are surrounded by people who also accept and love you for who you are. That part is sadly tougher for people with uncommon traits (because most people, while not necessarily being malicious, can be uncomfortable with things they don't see often and thus are unfamiliar with). Nonetheless, I (naively?) believe that there are enough good-natured and open-minded people in this world who accept and appreciate that everyone is a little different :)

So yeah, some obvious crap from some random stranger guy on NG, but I wholeheartedly applaud your courage and wish you nothing but the best.

(As long as you continue to put out great music for me to enjoy :P)

SkyeWint 2015-08-25 10:35:01

Hey, gadogry.

Honestly, I'm fairly excited as well. Completely stressed out, unsurprisingly. But also excited. It *is* something new and exciting for me. For fairly obvious reasons.

Fortunately, I live in Eugene, so people here are extraordinarily open minded. Parents might be uncomfortable, but they're also open minded and we'll be able to work through it. Most of my friends are too. Even more fortunately, since I've been going by Skye online for a long time, people already recognize me by that name, and a lot of people have initially thought I was female because it kinda is that kind of name anyway.

Seeing this kind of response is really, really relieving either way, though. Especially from someone I haven't really spoken to much! (though that's easily corrected - Skype is a thing.)

I still gotta win that NGADM too, and I've no shortage of musical ideas. Trust me on that one! :)

TaintedLogic 2015-08-26 23:49:34

Wow. I had no idea you were going through all of this, Skye! I admire your determination and your bravery, though. I hope it all works out one way or another, and if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, just PM me. ;)

SkyeWint 2015-08-26 23:49:34

Hey, man. Yeah. Surprise. :P

Feel free to shoot me a message on Skype, actually - that would be the most convenient. I use IM waaaay more than PMs on here. skyewint is my skype username - johnfn and I talk all the time.

gadogry 2015-08-27 11:32:49

Glad to see your response to my comment, and that you are in a good and supportive ecosystem. While I meant well, I still kind of cringed when hitting "send" on my last message because, you know, it's about something very personal to you, and some people may not take that well, especially coming from a stranger. So I was kind of relieved to see that you don't seem to be offended :P

Again, all the best to you! I for one would definitely love to hear about how things progress for you :)

SkyeWint 2015-08-27 11:32:49

I'll definitely share with you, then. :) Feel free to shoot me a message on Skype or something - I've always seen you as being a pretty cool person based on how you've presented yourself, and I always talk a lot more frequently and openly on IM platforms like Skype. That'll definitely have progress!