So. After watching even a part of the first debate, I have to say... this is pretty accurate, aside from the fact that the "Jimmy Fallon" of the actual one didn't get to speak or ask questions most of the time.
I think I'm late on reviewing this.
But oh well. Review time!
The intro is interesting, and the music seems to fit in well. It was a bit confusing though, at first. I wasn't sure what was meant to happen. After a little bit though, it was revealed. It looked pretty good, and the music was ok, but in the end, the point of it escaped me, and I wasn't sure what it was supposed to symbolize or if it was just supposed to look cool. It definitely looked good, and made me think a bit about what it was supposed to mean, so I suppose it's alright. I think it would have been better if there were more of a plot or point to it though. If there was a plot or point, I think it would have been nice if it were clearer...
-Review Request Club-
Okay! First review in my 3-hour rush! Let's go!
Ok, it's a tad confusing, but honestly. Nice work! Even without having read the previous ones, this is still really good, and I understood it reasonably well (...I think).
There's a lot of "heavy" content, and you can see the problem with the main character clearly. I thought the beginning was interesting, showing that dragon-like-thing-beast-whatever-it-i s in a world that I can only assume is the mind of the main character. The plot is well-done, thought I'm not exactly sure what made the main character's friend pull the fork out. That and how it actually went alright. I'm also not exactly sure how the main character can talk, considering she (assuming it's a she) has a fork in her throat. /Generally/ people wouldn't be able to talk if there was a fork lodged in their throat. Just saying. The music is nice, fits in well with the comic, and though there isn't much animation, it doesn't need it. It's a comic, not really a movie.
Overall, good plot, good music, good art, good multi-world idea. Hope to see more.
It ends in October, I'm working on the final Issue today...
As a show reel...
This shows a lot. However, what it does show isn't that much. The music chosen kind of fits, but not quite with some of the animations. I guess it's background though, so I won't take off for that.
The art could definitely use some work. At the very least, I think it could have some fine-tuning. While it's pretty cool, the art was kind of a turn-off for the whole thing. Made me like it a bit less. That could be improved fairly easily.
Now. The largest problem. It's totally random. I know it's a show reel. But even in the individual short bits, it looks random. Some VERY random, some kind of making sense. You have good ideas, and I definitely think some should be developed and show that you have skill, but they seem rough and random, which makes them seem less than what they are. Try polishing them up a bit in that category.
There, I think I covered things not already covered that I don't think are extremely necessary. But then, I also don't focus on graphics that much, and am not quite the best critic for that. I definitely enjoyed watching it, it made me laugh occasionally. (wish I could have heard what they were saying in the parts where the characters were talking...)
this year i attempted to avoid any clips i used last year, and that limited me to what i had. as for the randomness, i have done incredibly off-the-wall scripts that i was given (such as the heart one, the tool song, poseidon and the hamster, and the 3 second bits)
about 60% of everything i showed was from a collab hehe, so i cant be blamed for any inconsistent writing ;P
oh, and the art direction, yeah. i don't focus on the art as much as motion when i animate. but then again, you probably noticed.
thanks for the in-depth paragraphical review
The actual flash isn't all that impressive. But. Holy crap, you did this only in actionscript? That's surprising. I honestly have to say, very, very good. That's not an easy feat.
In light of this, the poor graphics that look like they were done in paint, the animation also looking like it was done in paint, they make sense, and I cannot take points off for it. The fact that this parodies a person who asked for Actionscript to create a flash animation for him without trying to do any work is just... Awesome.
Kudos to you.
(Though. I would honestly make actual flashes other than this one. It's a cool novelty, but doesn't really stand up as a flash. How you made it is really the only good thing I can say about it...)
I work with animation and games, so this isn't the only kind of thing that I do, but when I saw Jamrock's thread I knew I had to make this. Thank you for the appreciation!
Considering what it is...
It's pretty good. I've always liked stick animations. The animation is very fluid, smooth, and having one of the girders fall worked quite well. I thoroughly enjoyed the fencing stance the blue stickman used towards the beginning.
My problems though come with the fact that it is too short, and it doesn't have any cutaway scenes of the stickmen. The swords also don't look that good, just lines. My other problem is that, if you're going to do a stickman animation, have it be unique from other ones. Just a fight won't quite work. While yes, it is cool, it isn't very original at all.
This could be improved. I hope that it will be, as it could be very cool in full.
I'm pretty good with writing storylines, but bad at delivering them into this fight scene or that fight scene. I suppose I might have been able to scrape something up, though. What I really didn't want to do though was put in a half-assed cliche anime-style storyline, since those are usually worse than no story at all.
As per it being short, the fact that all of the sticks are really good at blocking meant I constantly had to switch between stick figures while animating instead of animating a full combo and then another character getting hit with it. This made the animation process take much longer, and having a third character in the animation also made the animation process take very long. Remember that while the full animation may be 15 seconds, it's actually over 30 seconds of animation, since each character must be done separately.
May as well attempt to review this.
I give it a 1 for making me think "lol" for a second.
What I would do to attempt to improve are three things:
1) Make the parody make a bit more sense.
2) Be a /bit/ more comprehensible in how you speak, half the time I couldn't understand what in the world you were saying. This extends to spelling in the type when you have words in the flash.
3) Make artwork that looks a /little/ better than a scribble on the flash. The artwork appears to have no effort in it whatsoever other than the most minimal possible. Most of the good flashes take a long time to make (I'm assuming) because they spend a lot of time in the artwork. Half a flash is good artwork, the other half is good sound. Otherwise, it's just... dull and boring, that or makes people who watch think "Ugh!".
This parody could definitely be improved. Those would be my bits to say how.
thanks for your review, although the artwork and voices were intentionally bad. in the future I will add alot more "oomph" into it.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.